On the eve of going to another one of our Family Friendly Partners Network Meetings, where we are going to discuss ways in which the church can help strengthen marriages and families, I read an article in CNN that states that 40 percent of births occurring today are to unwed mothers. A growing number of these are teens pregnancies which is seeing a growth in the last two years after a steady decline for 14 years. Aside from the unwanted pregnancies, there is a growing number of woman who are desiring to have children on their own without the want of a father in the picture. (In some cases, some especially don't want a father in the picture.) A number of these are lesbian woman who now also would like to raise a child.
I am sorry, but this trend is truly disturbing. In a world where a contestant for Ms. USA gets chewed up for her views on marriage between a man a woman, I realize my stance may not be popular within our nation today, but as a pastor I find it necessary to take my stand on the side of Word of God and not popular opinion.
I don't get angry about the situation. I don't want to go yell at these people. I feel sorry for these people. I realize that most if not all, would probably think my sorrow is unwarranted. But my sadness is not only for them, but their children. Anytime we decide that we know better than God and his plan, we are putting ourselves in a very dangerous place.
God in His plan intended for mothers and fathers to be part of raising children. Both bring gifts, qualities, and diversity that work toward the development of those charged to their care. Husband and wife, Mothers and fathers balance each other out. One often makes up for the others short comings. Despite what some think we are different, men and women, and those differences are celebrated within marriage and in those God given differences and uniqueness for He uses those differences for His purpose.
Mothers and fathers working together to raise a child in the way he/she should go is not only instituted by God for practical reasons, but also for theological reasons. The union of man and wife is a reflection of Christ and his bride the church. Our job as parents in marriage reflects the union of the Trinity, each having it's role in the Godhead. One is not more important or valuable than the other, but each takes part in the roles they have. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit all have the same objective, to love His children, just as the mother and father should have this same objective in mind. This is reflected in our marriages. God's plan and his love is reflected to the child through the mother and father, together. God's plan holds true for the believer and the non-believer for he has built the mother/father unit into nature itself!
My prayer for these woman considering this incredible responsibility is, please, please, look to God's Word for advise. I realize that there may be a pain for some feeling empty without a child. I know there are those who really want to have a child and they grow older without any prospects in the near future. I can not understand what you might be gong through, but I do deeply sympathize. I would plead with you not to take matters into your own hands.
I don't know why God has placed this burden upon you in this matter. I do not know why God places the many different burdens all of us deal with, but I do know that ..."in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) Being called according to His purpose means to follow His way, not ours. It is hard, but when our desires are in conflict with God's, we need to take that back seat and trust that He knows better, for He truly does. It is not easy, but through prayer, fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ and His Word, we can get through it.
And for those who find themselves in positions that are beyond your control already due to a decision made, unfortunate circumstance, a sin, there is always forgiveness. God can even take our mistakes and work them for His greater good. Look at King David. See Abraham. What about Peter? Take Saul, who became Paul. And the list goes on and on. We are not exempt from sin and error, but we have a God, who in Christ Jesus, has conquered these sins on Calvary's cross, we simply need to go to Him and ask for that forgiveness. Then through the work of the Holy Spirit, we can begin again.
As the old hymn writer suggests, "Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior still our refuge, Take it to the Lord in prayer." You have that great friend in Jesus, go to him. Look to His Word for answers and for peace. Call upon Him in the day of trouble and He will deliver you. These are not trite words, but words of promise, of truth and of comfort from the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords himself. Look to him for answers. He will not steer you wrong.
